How to get kicked out of school before Christmas
by TheMarauderOfAIS
Summary: The marauders in fourth year with; advanced potions  and transfiguration ;chaotic pranks; a certain greasy haired git ;detentions; a load of accidentally dropped dung bombs in the Slytherin common room;pure chaos;more chaos and a significant increase in weight gain on Peter's part...


a/n: Hi there! My name is Kohl-eyed (at least that's what my profile says). This is my first ever fanfic. I posted this story a day ago but forgot to add my author note. Do enjoy!

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><p>The moon was shining brightly on the grass outside Gryffindor tower; a Grey owl flew past the astronomy tower. It settled on a branch before hooting a low whistle. It was the perfect night for mischief.<p>

Inside Gryffindor tower the passageway was unusually quiet, except for inside one dorm.

James Potter sat on Remus Lupin's bed. He was in the dormitory they shared with a certain Mr. Black and one Peter Pettigrew. In short; it was the headquarters of the marauders.

On to his right was Sirius's bed, piled with clothes-specifically picked by Sirius- for their next prank. There was the horrid Green tuxedo Mrs. Black had actually bothered to send Sirius for Christmas a year ago (you might think she could have at least asked for Sirius's opinion on the clothes she bought him ); the mousey-brown, frilled coat the marauders had come across in Filch's office when they were put in detention and had sneaked into the caretaker's confiscated item drawer ( Peter had particularly drooled over that piece of ancient ugliness); a pair of James's quidditch robes ( the only article of clothing fit enough to pass off as _normal_); a few stolen things from Mooney's trunk ( Of course he didn't know. We're talking about Remus remember, Remus Lupin: top of his class and occasional shenanigan) and not to mention, the pink accessories they had gone looking for in the girls' dormitory. Their catch included a pair of goggles, earmuffs, dangling earrings and a pair of fluffy kitten bed slippers which now lay treasured on Sirius's pillow.

James walked over to his own trunk. He pulled out a sock inside which he had hid a bottle of polyjuice potion. He and Sirius had made a large supply just in case. This prank they had been working on for almost three months.

Now you might be wondering how on earth a couple of fourth years managed to get the book instructing how to make polyjuice potion. No? Well, they used James's invisibility cloak and of course, their super-human sneaking skills.

Sirius now stood on James's bed, the curtains drawn around him as he got dressed.

'Hey Padfoot, are you sure about dressing up _before_ drinking the potion?' James called out to the curtains.

'Positively Prongs…' came the reply, '…do you mind passing me those _adorable_ bed slippers? I seriously do not know what on earth I would do without them!' Sirius poked his head out and gave a very important look.

James got up and over to Sirius's bed. Digging his way through the clothes he managed to find both of the slippers. 'Maybe you should go for the quidditch robes…..with goggles…maybe a pair of boxers on your head…' James suggested.

'Excellent Prongs…..'Sirius called out before adding 'I do believe Wormtail has a pair of underwear that says ''sweet secrets'' on it'. James was now shooting Sirius a look of horror 'Don't get me started on how I know that. Prongs don't take it the wrong way, alright I'll admit it. It was me. I stole Peter's cookies on Valentine's Day last year.'

'What a surprise, though yes, I was suspecting Moony', James admitted.

'I was hiding here during fourth period from all those pathetic ''fan girls'' when I got hungry and set out on a search. Obviously you weren't with me as you were trying to get Evans to notice the teddy bear you got her.' He snorted.

'I wasn't!' James defended himself.

'Time for my potion', Sirius called out. He was still inside the curtain. His hand came out. It was clad in bangles like the ones one would expect Sybill Trelawney to wear.

'Nice one mate. Or should I say professor Trelawney', James commented. He passed the bottle to Sirius.

'Ah yes, thank you James Potter… ', Sirius called out in a fake dreamy voice '…I think I can see something, its little Snivellus, and-and he's drenched in dungbombs. Dungbombs are the symbol of-of-of GLORY!'He shouted.

'Padfoot- can't breathe-stop!' James was by this time on the floor laughing.

'Okay, I'm readyyyyyyyyy!' Sirius sang out. 'Ladies and germs, please put your fartbombs together for the one and only…ta-daah! '. Sirius jumped out of the curtains.

Sure enough, he looked amazing. Like amazingly funny. He was wearing goggles the color of mud; he wore a boxer on his head; a small, hotpink bow stuck out of the leg holes; a bubblegum pink bathrobe covered the unmistakable Slytherin quidditch uniform. That was not all, the highlight was what Sirius had come up with for shoes; on his left foot was a pink bed slipper and on his right was, well nothing: it was bare with a large bunion on the toe.

James examined Sirius from head to toe. The smile on his face grew larger and spread into a grin. His eyes were threatening to bulge from behind his glasses. Sirius looked at James before they nodded in unison.

'Wait till Mooney gets a load of this!' James shouted.

Sirius took a look in the mirror. This was going to be good.

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><p>Woo-hoo first chapter! Thanks for reading; pretty much appreciated. I don't want to sound pathetic but please review.<p> 


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